(I never read blogs, yet here I am making my very first blog post.)
I'm a graphic designer with an affinity for writing...specifically in creative nonfiction and poetry. I find that my writing involves topics of questioning beauty and social issues that I have faced in life. Gender roles, apologies, and cemeteries are a few things I like to write about. I am fortunate to have been published in writing about these things for APU's literary journal, The West Wind. I hope to question more of these simple things that intrigue me so that I can offer my own mindset to the world as a proposition of alternate perspectives that usually defy what is accepted as normal.
So if I don't read blogs, then why am I making a blog?
Good question.
Growing up, my parents told me I was always "lost in my own world." I'd be in the back of my mom's silver mini van (the one with the McDonald's chocolate milk stain on the floor), looking out of the window with my eyes as two-way mirrors where I could see into my thoughts but no one else could. I liked this secret space.
My mind would travel wherever it wanted. I'd like to think that I actually did travel to my own world. I blocked out every inch of reality to the hum of the music on the radio like Vanya in The Umbrella Academy, and I would teleport to Calli-ville or wherever my parents thought I was.
My inner monologue has always been my loudest voice. It talks a lot. My mouth doesn't. My mom never thought "shy" was the right word, though I am personally not opposed to the word. She would describe me as more "reserved." I could state whatever random thought my brain had brewed up but that was only after a long, molasses-like process of churning through all contributing (and tangential) thoughts.
So I kept "diaries." I never liked that word though. Still, I mean, that's what they were. I think everybody should have diaries or journals or whatever you want to call them. There is something really therapeutic about taking all of the mess inside of your mind and getting it out on a page. I've always preferred a physical journal, but do whatever you have to do to just get it out. No matter how big of a mess your thoughts are, write it down or even get hold of a voice recorder like an old private detective if you have to. (Being a private eye used to my dream job, but I never really had a talent or passion in that beyond thinking it looked cool on TV.)
There are few things in this life that I feel were meant for me. Punky alternative music is one of them. I adore the band, Waterparks. That's Calli 101. I also feel like chocolate was meant for me. More than anything, writing is crucial to the way I was wired in the womb. I'm slow to speak, yet I have a fierce drive for changing the world even if it's only a few people. I'm sensitive to the things that made me question the background of our society and how it influenced my growing up.
My goal is to always be crafting the perfect sentence. I want to say the simplest, most unique thing that will impact you to a degree you never knew possible. I think the capabilities of editing and writing are mystifying. They transcend what the voice can do, especially from an introvert like me.
And that's why I am writing this blog post. I hope to be accountable in writing more. I may even treat this like the LiveJournal account I never had where I write cryptic, lyrical prose. I'd truly love that for future myself. My goal is to live like it's the early 2000's. Pete Wentz is definitely a muse of mine. I owe my intrigue in poetry to Fall Out Boy. In my mind, music and writing go together just like bread bowls and tomato bisque. They need each other, and they can often make each other better.
If you like alternative 2000's music, poetry, and hearing about the themes behind my designs, then this could be your new hang out spot. Even if it's not, I hope this inspires you to write something.
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